CALLED TO SERVE?!

I've said it before and I'll say it again, I truly feel that I was called to go on a mission. I didn't have reoccurring subtle promptings that made me start to think about a mission, I didn't particularly have an ever growing desire to do missionary work, my patriarchal blessing didn't hint at a year and a half of humble service. Heavenly Father gave me very little warning, he just called me. 

April of 2014, I was preparing to go to BYU-Idaho in the Fall to room with Chelsea. That was my future. And we were SO excited about it. We talked about the adventures we would have, the people Chels would introduce me to, the dances we would go to. It was going to be so fun! 

However, it didn't last long. Eventually my Idaho plans completely fell apart. I wasn't going to be able to room with Chelsea that semester and frankly I really couldn't afford to stay anywhere else. Idaho was just not an option for the Fall-Winter semester that year. Chels and I were both really sad about this. I remember her getting a little teary-eyed and trying to make other suggestions of where I could stay. But none of them made sense and we both knew it just wasn't going to happen. 

Those of you who know me well, know that I can be quite dramatic. Normally this would have been Earth shattering. I would've cried and thought "Ugh, why can't things just work out?" I would've become discouraged and pulled my hair out worrying about my future. 

But this was different. I felt peace. Granted, I was a little sad my plans of a fun semester in Idaho were over. But more than sadness, I felt peace. I knew that this didn't work out for a reason. I knew that there was something else that I needed to do. I didn't know what but I knew whatever the Lord had in mind for me, I was going to do it. 

A desire to do the Lord's will is not something that comes natural to me. I am stubborn, and I like to plan out everything myself. But luckily for me Heavenly Father had already softened my heart and humbled me in preparation for this experience. Becoming more humble came as I had no idea what do to with my future, and decided I should get my patriarchal blessing. As I did this, I stopped trying to call all the shots. I began to foster a sincere desire to live a life consecrated to the Lord. To go where he asked. I developed a trust that I could never plan a life for myself that would be as rewarding, fulfilling, and meaningful as my life would be if I did the Lord's will. Being submissive in all things like my Savior became an attribute I desperately tried to develop. And when I got my patriarchal blessing, it sealed the deal. I would never be as happy or have as many opportunities to make others happy as I would be if I was willing to submit to whatever the Lord saw fit to inflict upon me (Mosiah 3:19).  I knew then that I would go where he wanted me to go. And I thought that was Idaho. 

An excerpt from an email I sent to one of my friend's who is on a mission. I sent this right around the time this was all going on. 

"I am thankful for the whole experience of not being able to go to Idaho. I realized that before that happened, I had not once prayed for guidance on where to go. After I got my patriarchal blessing, I just kind of felt like I should go to Idaho. I thought it was the right thing to do. I didn't even think to pray about it." 

Embarassing, but true. Alright stop judging me, back to the story. 

As soon as I got home from Chelsea's after finding out I wouldn't be able to go to Idaho. I got on my knees. I pleaded. I think for the first time in my life I really pleaded in prayer. I poured out my heart and begged Heavenly Father to help me to know where to go. I really knew I was not supposed to stay in Panama City Beach, but I had no idea where I needed to be. I knew that He did though. I knew that He had something in store for me. 

The answer to my prayer came two days later. 

Driving to work in my lovely Honda Accord that's as old as I am and listening to Vocal Point. Wearing a leotard, mind you (These were my ballet teaching days). It was a sunny Florida day, with a crisp spring breeze... I'm kidding. I'll stop. This is just a really important moment so I wanted to set the tone.

Anyway.

I was so grateful for the peace that had been afforded to me to during a time that would normally cause me so much anxiety. I still had a prayer in my heart that I would know what I was supposed to do. I was just kind of day dreaming listening to the music and suddenly I had a total "That's So Raven" moment and was watching a vision of myself serving a mission.

Knocking on doors with my companion. 

Sitting down with a family and reading from the scriptures. 

Washing windows and pulling weeds in sweatpants with a missionary badge.

Testifying with teary eyes. 

All with an acapella rendition of Praise to the Man playing in the background. It was pretty dramatic.

Tears filled my eyes. I was both overwhelmed with the spirit and because this caught me COMPLETELY off guard. I can't stress enough that a mission was the furthest thing from my mind. Yet I couldn't feel very shocked, because it just felt right. A puzzle piece that I didn't even know was missing put into it's place. 

At the time it seemed so random to just be sitting in the car one moment and then seeing a totally cheesy yet equally powerful montage of myself on a mission. However now I can see clearly that it was an answer to my prayers. And even then I knew that it was personal revelation.

That night I was reading my scriptures and I noticed my EFY journal lying on the floor. I curiously picked it up and started flipping through it. I happened upon a whole page of scripture references about personal revelation. I turned to Moroni 7:13

"But behold, that which is of God inviteth and enticeth to do good continually; wherefore, every thing which inviteth and enticeth to do good, and to love God, and to serve him, is inspired of God."

I had an amazing feeling. This was a much better future than I could've planned for myself. This was God's future for me. He was calling me to the work. 

The increase of love I felt for others, the peace I'd felt when things weren't going to plan, the testimony that was catching like wild fire within me suddenly all started to make sense. I accepted this call before I even came to this Earth. Nothing had ever felt so right to me as Kirsten Froemming serving a mission. 

How had I not thought of this? Man Heavenly Father's plans are always way cooler than mine.