I hope you all had an amazing week! I sure did.
Heavenly Father has given me a lot of opportunities to grow this week! He tested me a lot. Some tests I succeeded, some tests I completely flunked. Being a missionary has stretched me so much. I'm so grateful that I can see myself changing. But it's also so hard not to give into the natural man. I am learning, slowly but surely, how to turn out in Christlike love when every part of me is trying to turn in.
After a week of stretching experiences, I felt like I could see every flaw I have as a missionary under a black light. I could so clearly see where I want to be as a missionary, but I could also see the long, difficult journey that it will take for me to get there. I felt so weighed down by my weakness. I had repented and recommitted myself every day, I had really tried to lean on the Lord and had asked for help, but I still struggled not to feel inadequate as a missionary.
I took all of these thoughts and feelings with me to church yesterday. And as I attended sacrament meeting, I felt Heavenly Father embrace me in His arms. Each Hymn we sang brought peace to my heart and tears to my eyes. As I took the sacrament I was able to take a deep breath of sweet relief as I finally felt the weight of my weaknesses roll of my shoulders. I felt joy and encouragement from my Father in Heaven as I recommitted myself to be better this week and to just keep going, relying on the Lord and doing everything I can, repenting when I inevitably fall short. Two returned missionary sisters spoke in sacrament meeting and it was such a tender mercy from the Lord. Their words lifted me up and inspired me. I came away from that meeting understanding that He is refining me. He is making me something better. I realized that I was resisting against these tests and trials, trying to get them over with so I could pass my test and be better already. I know now what I need to do is to embrace these tests with gratitude and long suffering. Allowing Him to truly change my nature and intentions, not just my actions.
Please apply this experience in your own lives. Embrace Heavenly Father's will for your life, and you will become so much better than you ever imagined you could be. He knows you, He loves you, He wants you to be happy, He will be there for you. Never forget that He is on your side. Honor your covenants and rely on the Lord fully There you will find true peace through the toughest storms of life. Endure and endure well brothers and sisters! 2 Nephi 31:21.
OKAY a very quick weekly highlights because I have zero time this week.
-Knocking doors on rainy days. EVERYONE thought we were insane.
-Meeting Trevor, on the train. He was the craziest man in the world. He hadn't spoken to anyone besides those he works with in 3 months and he said he really needed to talk. So when we said "Hi, how are you?" He just let it alllllll out. I love Trevor! He said some crazy stuff that me and Sister Hosea will probably be quoting for years.
-Building member trust left and right. The Lord is really helping us gain the trust of the members here! Their hearts are being softened toward us and we can feel the excitement of the ward for missionary work growing! SO EXCITING!!!!!
-Celebrating my 1 month of being a missionary is Aussie with Milo and Tim Tams (not like we don't do that all the time already......#missionweight)
(We're sad because it's winter but it feels like Fall and there's not Halloween.)
-Teaching our members! We have an awesome message that we've been sharing where we share the He Lives video where the prophet and first presidency testify of the Savior. It's so powerful! It's been so cool to share it with our members and see how it touches them and gets them thinking of their testimony.
-Pumpkin soup at the Langley's. Some of our cute members fed us pumpkin soup when we stopped by to visit them. It was super good so I got the recipe and made it for Sister Hosea and I the next day.
-The joy that is trying to kill the giant roach in our flat that continues to elude me. He is my Moby Dick.
-Meeting the Bishop! I finally met him! He's so cool! He said and and his daughter (who is Sis Ireland from last week's email) both made a comment about how it's good to have missionaries who are obedient and working hard! So excited that he's here! I know we are going to continue to see so many miracles in this area!
I LOVE YOU ALL! You are all in my prayers. Have an amazing week! Love the Lord!